Last updated: August 29, 2026

 

The Short Answer: We don't know who you are, and we like it that way.

​

What We Collect: Nothing. Zero. Zilch. We don't use cookies, trackers, analytics, or persistent local storage. If you pay using Bitcoin or Monero, your transaction is anonymous. We also don't make an account for you in any system because systems that don't exist can't be hacked. Refunds are handled via Stripe back to the CC that paid for your order. If you paid with crypto, the money back to your wallet once we receive your returned package.

​

Third Parties

Our payment and shipping providers may collect information as necessary to provide their services. Their privacy practices are governed by their own privacy policies. We do not save, store, or use cookies or trackers in any way.

​

• Stripe: If you decide to use a Credit Card, Strip handles your credit card processing. They get your payment details; we don't. See their Privacy Policy.

• Pirate Ship: Prints the shipping label so your hardware actually makes it to your doorstep. They get your shipping address; we just slap it on the box. See their Privacy Policy.

​​

Data Sales & Sharing: We cannot sell, trade, leak, or surrender your data to third parties, data brokers, or shadowy organizations for the simple reason that we do not have it.

​

New Phone, Who Dis? Once your package ships, our system forgets you exist. If you contact support next week, expect us to ask: New phone, who dis?

​

Enjoy your stay, browse in peace, and let's keep it that way.